Riddle

I cannot be felt, seen or touched;
Yet I can be found in everybody;
My existence is always in debate;
Yet I have my own style of music.
What Am I?

Answer

I'm a Soul. Style of music: soul music.

Riddle

There is a common English word that is nine letters long. Each time you remove a letter from it, it still remains an English word - from nine letters right down to a single letter. What is the original word, and what are the words that it becomes after removing one letter at a time?

Answer

The base word is Startling - starting - staring - string - sting - sing - sin - in - I

Riddle

A woman shoots her husband.
Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?

Answer

The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

Riddle

A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breath under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said, "that's nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no types of equipment or air pockets!" The magician told the kid if he could do that, he'd give him $10,000. The kid did it and won the money. Can you figure out how?

Answer

The kid filled a glass of water and held it over his head for 10 minutes.

Riddle

I can sizzle like bacon,
I am made with an egg,
I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg,
I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole,
I can be long, like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole,
What am I?

Answer

A snake.

Riddle

This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it! In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out! Try to do so without any coaching!

Answer

The paragraph doesn't contain the letter 'e'.

Riddle

Only one color, but not one size,
Stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies.
Present in sun, but not in rain,
Doing no harm, and feeling no pain.
What is it.

Answer

It's a Shadow!

If you have it, you want to share it.  If you share it, you don't have it. What is it?
 A secret.

The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
Darkness

What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it?
You can't buy it in a bookstore or take it from a library.
A telephone book.

What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?
A chalkboard

What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?
The year 1961 can be read upside down and that won't happen again until 6009!

What has no beginning, end, or middle?
A doughnut.

What has to be broken before it can be used?
An egg.

What does no man want, yet no man wants to lose?
Work - Employment

How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
Only one, the last one.

What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else?
Your mind.

Were you a kid in the Fifties or earlier? Everybody makes fun of our childhood! Comedians joke. Grandkids snicker. Twenty year olds shudder and say "Eeeew!" But was our childhood really all that bad? Judge for yourself: 

In 1953, the US population was less than 150 million... yet you knew more peopl e then, and knew them better... and that was good. 

The average annual salary was under $3,000... yet our parents could put some of it away for a rainy day and still live a decent life... and that was good. 

A loaf of bread cost about 15 cents... but it was safe for a five-year-old to skate to the store and buy one... and that was good. 

Prime-Time meant I Love Lucy, Ozzie and Harriet, Gun Smoke and Lassie...  So  nobody ever heard of ratings or filters... and that was good. 

We didn't have air-conditioning... so the windows stayed up and half a dozen mothers ran outside when you fell off your bike... and that was good. 

Your teacher was either Miss Matthews or Mrs. Logan or Mr. Adkins...  but not Ms Becky or Mr. Dan... and that was good. 

The only hazardous material you knew about was a patch of grass burrs around the light pole at the corner... and that was good. 

You loved to climb into a fresh bed... because sheets were dried on the clothesline... and that was good. 

People generally lived in the same hometown with their relatives...  so "child care" meant grandparents or aunts and uncles... and that was good. 

Parents were respected and their rules were the law....  Children did not talk back... and that was good. 

TV was in black-and-white... But all outdoors was in glorious color... and that was certainly good. 

Your Dad knew how to adjust everybody's carburetor... and the Dad next door knew how to adjust all the TV knobs...  and that was very good. 

Your grandma grew snap beans in the back yard... and chickens behind the garage... and that was definitely good. 

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Louisiana. We rule ourselves under the Napoleonic Code. We settle small disagreements like this with the Louisiana Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Louisiana Three Kick Rule?" The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited.

The geezer's second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face.

The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart, vengeful will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot; now it's my turn."

The geezer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.  You can have the duck."

1) If it takes twenty minutes to hard-boil one goose egg,
 how long will it take to hard-boil four goose eggs?

20 minutes, 4 eggs can be boiled at the same time.

2) Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?

     ....Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.    & nbsp;  

3) Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
     .....Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.    

4) Can a man in California  marry his widow's sister?

     ....No. He must be dead if it is his widow.

    
5) Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10.
     What do you get?

     .....  Seventy (70).  Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.

    
6) A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half
     an hour.   How long will the pills last?
     ......One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at
     1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only one hour
     has passed.

    
7) A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are
     left?
     .....  Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.

    
8) A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh?
     .....  Meat ... that is self-explanatory.

When I take a long time... I am slow

When my boss takes a long time... he is thorough

When I don't do it... I'm lazy

When my boss doesn't do it... he's too busy

When I do something without being told...I'm over stepping my boundaries

When my boss does the same thing... that's initiative

When I take a stand... I'm being stubborn

When my boss does it... he's being firm

When I over look a rule of etiquette... I'm being rude

When my boss slips a few rules... he's being "original"

When I please my boss... I am apple polishing

When my boss pleases his boss... he's co-operating

When I get ahead... I'm lucky

When my boss gets ahead... that's hard work

These true court cases just goes to show u what kind of stupidity this world is coming too...

Outrageous Court Cases
 

     January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson's son.
 

     June 1998: A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000.00 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran his hand over with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice someone was at the wheel of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal.
 

     October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was exiting a house he finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. This upset Mr. Dickson, so he sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars and change.

October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500.00 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard, as was Mr. Williams. The award was less than sought after because the jury felt the dog may have been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
 

     May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500.00 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
 

    & nbsp; December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the lady's room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000.00 and dental expenses.

ok dont hurt ur brains tryin to figure these out....

1)    A big fat Indian and a small thin Indian were sitting outside a teepee, each smoking a pipe. The little Indian was the son of the big Indian, but the big Indian was not the little Indian's father. How come?

{Solution}

The big Indian was the little Indian's mother.

2)    Mary's husband's father-in-law is Mary's husband's brother's brother-in-law, and Mary's sister-in-law is Mary's brother's stepmother. How did this happen?

{Solution}

Mary's father married the sister of Mary's husband.

3)    Over the side of a boat floating in a harbor there hangs a rope ladder containing ten rungs. Each rung is one foot from the next one and the bottom rung is resting on the surface of the water. The tide rises at a rate of one foot an hour. How long will it take the water to reach the top rung?

{Solution}

 It will never reach the top rung because the boat will rise with the tide. 

 

You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.

You want to slap the next person who says, Must be nice to work from 8:00 to 3:00 and have your summers free!"

You believe chocolate is a food group.

You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.

When out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.

You have no time for a life from August to June.

Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much simpler.

You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."

You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.

You can't have children because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.

You think caffeine should be available to staff in IV form.

Meeting a child's parents instantly answers the question, "why is this kid like this?"

Everything hurts; and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere.

Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.

Your children begin to look middle aged.

You finally reach the top of the ladder and find it leaning against the wrong wall.

You look forward to a dull evening.

You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

Your knees buckle and your belt won't.

Your back goes out more often than you do.

The little old gray haired lady you help across the street is your wife.

You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.

You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.

You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions. 

If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?

Adam and Eve were the first people on earth...Did they have belly buttons?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

In the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, people take prozac to make it normal.

"Is ignorance or apathy the biggest problem in the world today?" "I don’t know and I don’t care."